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Chanting
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| Step 1: While at a friends house begin to stare at the wall Step 2: If they ask you what's wrong only reply-Go at once to the petunia, Corncob. Step 3: When you think you've done enough snap back into reality Step 4: If they ask you again just reply-Oh I was just channeling dead spirits- as if it were no big deal Bonus: While chanting get up and while making jerky movements walk into a few doors. |
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Head Banging
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| Step 1: Find a nice quiet place where maybe one or two people show
up at a time Step 2: Wait until someone is in sight Step 3: Begin to hit your head on the wall repeating over and over-There's no place like home-as they walk by Step 4: If they pull you away from the wall continue to bang your head on an invisible wall Bonus: Tape a ketchup packet, fake blood, or an open wound on your forehead before doing this |
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Introductions
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| #1 Hi I'm name of someone currently in a jail or asylum I just came
from the room. They never found his foot. #2 Heh Heh my name is name of singer I just came from the institution. They said my brain was fine. #3 It worked! It worked! My brain transplant was a complete success. I used to be a chicken. #4 Hi there I'm name of the opposite sex My mommy said that I was completely sane. Even after daddy's deadly accident. #5 My name's name of a dead famous person Well not really I'm just there reincarnated soul. |
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Dating Blow-offs
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| #1 I'd love to but my warden wouldn't like it. #2 Huh? What? I'm sorry these voices in my head just--Won't shut up! #3 Sorry, but I have to meet the mothership in five minutes. #4 Sorry but I haven't dated anyone since Mr. Booth shot my husband. #5 I would but I may be contagious. |
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Crash and Burn
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| Step 1: find a small bus stop or subway that hardly anyone uses anymore. Step 2: as someone goes through run around with you arms in the air yelling-The flammable roadkill-continuously Step 3: While they stare at you pass out. Bonus: Run as if something is chasing you and scream |
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Walk past's
(say this while walking past someone and vise versa) |
| #1 The pink squirrel was moldy and the bread has cheese. #2 And the fish says Moo. #3 And poor Al floated when he died. #4 Forget math we'll need gills #5 And so I killed him. |
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Invisible friend fake-out
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| Step 1: pretend to listen intently to what your friend has to say Step 2: quickly turn around and yell-Will you please just shut up I can't hear what (he or she) is saying! Step 3: turn around to your friend and reply-as you were saying, Bonus: while talking with invisible friend go into an argument with them. |
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Attention Grabbers
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| #1 (on the bus) Hey lets jump! #2 (in the lunch room) Name of someone you know 's gay! #3 (anywhere) Guess what, I'm not wearing any underpants! #4 (while running) The chickens are coming! The chickens are coming! #5 (at a cafeteria or fast food restaurant) Hey this steak/hamburger just mooed! |
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Phone Introductions
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| #1 Hello, yes I'd like to order a pepperoni and cheese pizza with
a side order of you. Oh and by the way do you deliver? #2 I'm sorry we can't come to the phone right now please leave a message after the click. *click* #3 Area 51 how may I direct your call? #4 Hello. Hello? Well I guess no ones there. *click* #5 State you live in psychiatric center how may I help you? |
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Embarrassing Compliments
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| #1 Nice hat, it covers up that greasy hair. #2 You just don't look like the type who could steal anyone's (Boy/Girl friend). #3 You look cute with pimples. #4 Hey who said disco wouldn't come back. #5 Hey great idea, with that shirt no one will notice your face. |
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Bad Nicknames
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| #1 Dumbo #2 Dicky #3 Pee Wee #4 Fat Boy Slim #5 Anything that rhymes with their name |
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Annoying songs to play over
and over and over...
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| #1 Mary Had a Little Lamb #2 The Jeopardy theme song #3 Any popular pop song #4 Any song that plays the same chorus more than twice #5 Two words 'Lamb Chop' |
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Midnight Madness
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| Step 1: Go to a party you really don't want to be at, bringing a
pocket/purse full of small rocks Step 2: At the stroke of midnight scream-It's got me! It's got me! I'm surrounded!-preferably in front of no more than twenty-five people Step 3: If anyone tries to help you pelt them with a couple of what you call weirdo away stones. You wont be invited again. Bonus: Do it during a full moon. |
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School Fool
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#1 Leave a picture on your desk while moving on to
the next period with a picture of an open window and a note tacked beside
it reading: The country music was too much. I jumped.
#2 During a fire drill casually point out that if this is a drill what are you going back into the building for? #3 Leave this on your desk: I will rule the world! I am all powerful! I am immortal! I am worth it! I am indestructible! I am all you see! I am …full of it. No! I see all! I am the master of the universe! I…I…oh to hell with it! #4 If your friends ask you how you are reply: Physically I'm fine. Mentally I'm stuck on the free way, in traffic jam, during a volcanic eruption, living off one gummi bear and two minutes sleep in the past month, with three blown tires, and a gas tank that is way past empty. #5 No matter what the question is the teacher asks you reply: All these classes are frying my brain. |